Bad habits.

I've a lot of these.

I am unable to quite smoking yet I know it's the filthiest habit around. To the abhorrence of my students I continue to chew and bite my fingernails. I have been known to pick sweets of the floor dropped seconds previously and pop them into my mouth. Perhaps worse still, I refuse to wear deodorant. I own two pairs of socks. And that is not a joke.

An example of people I want to maim.

Yet, if there is one habit I wish to change, it's my aversion to the mobile phone. As a normal 21st century irrational city-dweller, I've succumbed to the mobile era. For many years I adamantly insisted that I would never own the greatest intrusion onto me-time ever thrown into the public sphere. I remember listening to conversations at high volume during morning bus journeys to Central Station in Sydney and wishing I could beat the head of the phone-lover into an unrecognizable bleeding pulp.

Those people who chatted on footpaths while walking no-where in particular, oblivious to the shared public space around them, instilled such violent feelings within me that I needed to seek psychiatric help. I was elbowing anyone who came within range. The mobile phone seemed to make me even more aware of people's ignorance of those around them, bad manners became acceptable, even the cultural norm. Worse still, not having a mobile was perceived as reactionary. I am not a Luddite.

Like all wonderful invention, the arrival of the portable phone should have been a welcome step in the history of telecommunications. Instead, ownership of my cheapo Nokia has only exaggerated my sometime anti-social traits. My monthly expenditure on telephone credit is minimal. I love to talk in person but loathe talking on the phone. Unless, Mum, I'm chatting with you.

Yeah, like I bet that's a meaningful conversation

So whilst I have now owned a mobile since the day I landed in Istanbul, I'm remain unaware of current protocol regarding usage. You see, if I don't feel like answering, I don't. And this, I know, is what can only be defined as a bad habit. It's rude. I know I'm wrong not to answer but I can't.

It's time to explore the fear that dwells deep within me. I hate to disappoint, let down or otherwise be unable to assist someone when the need arises. And for some reason, if someone makes a request to me over the phone, I always reply in the affirmative. This is not healthy.

However, last week something went wrong. One of my closest friends in this fair city rang, and I didn't answer. I didn't even call back. He got angry, and rightly so. My friendship might have been lost and I would've deserved it. And this is why I love the Turks. They crave human contact more than Anglo-Saxons.

I guess this will fall into disputed territory it's got to be said; the Mediterraneans are just better at friendships than I can ever hope to be. I can't source any academic reference here, I'm going on instinct. I can go a month without speaking with my friends. A Turk cannot. And this is something I need to learn. Otherwise, I'm just bring plain rude.

How I perceive the average mobile user. Yes, it's wrong, I know, but then again, is it really?

And so I promise from this day forth:

a. to pick up the phone when it rings
b. to call back as soon as possible if I am unable to pick up
c. to feel free to say no on the phone
d. to keep my Turkish friends because they are good to me

How I still have this many hang ups (now that's a pun) at this age is beyond me.